It’s Always Something

True story: tonight, I impulsivly order an affordable, very inexpensive skirt from amazon using my phone. The low battery warning pops up so I plug it in, then have a snugglefest with Timmy and Bear. While we’re snuggling, my phone rings and leaves a voicemail. Once I get up to check it, I see that my screen has turned neon colors and there’s a green and purple vertical line on the screen, and all the letters are blurry because they’re green, blue, and black scrambled.


I only got this phone on black Friday so I get in the car and drive to Verizon. The guy looks at my phone, checks the sim card for damage, sees none, then says I’m going to have to call technical support to see if they’ll send me a replacement. 


So after 45 minutes with a super nice support girl, she determines that they can’t fix the problem remotely so she’s going to factory reset the phone, I’ll go through the whole process of setting up my gmail and whatnot and then I’ll get a return call at 8:15.

That’s cool. So I do that, and I get to the screen that asks if I want to restore my apps and I say, yes, I do. Mind you, the screen still has the weird colors but now the vertical lines have multiplied. I hit restore… And everything goes black. The phone is warm but it’s dead, unresponsive, and even feels like there’s no life to it. If this were a cartoon there would be Birds Chirping Overhead And X’s Over Its Eyes. ANd Now My Tablet Is Doing The Weird Thing WHhere IT Capitalizes The First Letter Of every Word.

Soooo I guess I won’t be getting that 8:15 phone call.

This is great because it proves my theory that in my life, it’s always something. The fridge breaks. Half of the outlets in my house stop working. I need a new tire and the clutch needs to be replaced on a 2016 automatic. I order a new dishwasher to go with my fridge and I just never hear about it. I fix the problem with the outlets and then my tub drain starts acting up again. Honest to god, this is all within the past month. I’m done, I’m over it, I’m throwing my hands in the air and saying, “fuck this shit!” Like in my favorite someecard.

This isn’t my favorite, but since I live and die by to do lists, it seemed appropriate.


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